Everybody Loves A Clown
by katstales
Summary: Tag for The Hive. When John told Neera that clowns scared the crap out of him, maybe he had a reason. A very good reason.


_**Note:** My friend ang asked for a story that explained John's fear of clowns in The Hive--but without resorting to the bad-party-experience scenario. This is what I came up with._

* * *

"That's, that's interesting. So, um, how did you know? That the girl was a plant, I mean?" 

John grimaced as he settled into the seat across from Rodney, who continued to shovel in his dinner at a rather alarming rate even as he pushed for the story of his teams adventures aboard the Hive ship. A late dinner had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now that he was sitting at a table with food in front of him he was having second thoughts. Why hadn't he waited for Ronon and Teyla to be released from Beckett's clutches, he wondered. At least he would have had some moral support from someone who'd been there--not to mention someone else to help field their teammate's relentless inquisition. "She was...a little too quick to ask certain questions, okay?"

Rodney didn't seem to notice his hesitation and barged on, full speed ahead. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"I don't know. I guess the first clue was when she wanted to know how I was going to get out of the cell. She seemed...a little too calm." Sheppard pushed the food around on his plate, finding little appeal in anything on the dish.

"Huh. What'd you tell her?"

He shrugged, not that McKay noticed being otherwise occupied stuffing his own face. "The truth. Said I didn't know yet, but when I did figure it out it would be real impressive."

Rodney paused, raising his eyebrows. "So what'd she say to that?"

He sighed, wishing the Q&A would just be over. "She wanted to know if I was scared of the Wraith, which was my second clue. She didn't seem overly afraid of them either--in spite of the fact that I found her in a cocoon waiting to become someone's next meal after being captured. She seemed more surprised that I wasn't scared than fearful herself."

That definitely got his attention and the scientist paused mid-bite. "Huh. What did you say to that one?"

John answered without thinking, totally preoccupied with poking a strange aqua potato-like mound on his plate. "The truth. I told her that the Wraith don't scare me, but that clowns are a whole other story."

He decided to definitely pass on the odd mashed vegetable, not caring for the texture of it anymore than the color. When he looked up, Rodney was staring at him, his mouth agape. "What?"

"You're scared of clowns? The guys who dress up in garishly colored, over-sized clothing and painted on faces? You can't be serious--everybody loves clowns!" The bite that had been suspended in mid-air finally made into the physicist's mouth. "I mean, you're kidding, right?"

Sheppard paled at the question, turning a shade of white that rivaled the Wraith he'd so recently battled. Only then had he realized what he'd said. Shaking badly, he pushed the tray away and attempted to stand. "I, ah, just thought of something I need to take care of. Catch you later." When he finally got his legs underneath him, he stumbled toward the door, praying that Rodney wouldn't follow.

He headed as quickly as he could to the nearest transporter, the voices and sounds in the hallway mutating into an annoying buzz in his ears. Oh god, what the hell had he just done?

His hopes of escape were quickly dashed as McKay grabbed his arm and spun him around just shy of his destination. "What the hell was that all about?"

John yanked his arm away, far less forcefully than he'd intended. "I don't know what you mean--I told you I just thought of something that I need to take care of right away. Now if you don't mind..."

Rodney was in full-on stubborn mode, though, and blocked his way to the transporter. "Right, and I've suddenly been proclaimed the official Santa Claus for this year. There is no way you are going to drop that little gem in my lap and then just walk away, my friend. Now spill. What is it about clowns that prompted this strong a reaction? You might as well just tell me because I'm not going to let it go--and that's a promise."

Sheppard sighed, slumping against the wall in defeat as he eyed the multitude of personnel still milling about. "Fine--but not here. Let's go someplace a little less crowded."

Rodney eyed him suspiciously, no doubt weighing the truth in his acquiescence, thought the officer. After a moment of study, McKay again grabbed his sleeve and yanked him toward the small enclosure of the transporter. "Come on, I know just the place."

He followed along, robot-like as the scientist led him through corridors, up stairs, and down hallways. He nodded absently at the few people they encountered, too lost in the past to do more. It was only when the smell of fresh ocean air hit him, carried on a gentle breeze, that he fully came back to the present. "Okay, I give up. Where are we?"

McKay rolled his eyes. "If you'd been paying the slightest bit of attention, you'd know we're on a balcony."

"I can see that--which balcony?" demanded an aggravated Sheppard.

"If you hadn't interrupted me and had let me finish what I was saying, you'd already know the answer to that question." Rodney's reply was just as snide and testy as the pilot's had been.

Dropping to sit on the floor against the sea-side wall, John groaned. "Sorry. You were saying?"

McKay nodded, taking a seat next to him. "As I was saying, we're on a balcony not far from the science wing. I come up here whenever I need a little time to unwind and don't want to be found."

"Oh." It was a lame reply and he knew it, but Sheppard didn't really care at that particular moment, again swept into the past on a wave of memories.

"Sheppard!"

He started at the sound of his name, not knowing how long Rodney had been calling him. "Sorry, I guess I was someplace else for a minute there."

"More like several minutes--several long minutes, I might add. What is with you? You're acting really weird, even for you." Though his tone was laced with irritation, McKay's concern was also evident.

John sighed deeply. There was no way the physicist was going to let this drop, so he might as well just get it over with and tell him. To Rodney's credit, he allowed the officer the time he needed to find the words and Sheppard finally began to speak. "When I was seven, my dad was deployed overseas. My mom and I were on the way to stay with her cousin in Wyoming until he got back; it was supposed to be for a year, I think."

His face took on a faraway look as he told his story, the walls of Atlantis melting away into the interior of his mother's '64 Chevy Impala. "We left California a couple of days after Dad shipped out. I don't remember a lot about the trip, but I do remember stopping in Vegas for a couple of days. I remember not wanting to leave and giving my mom a hard time, but we finally got on the road around noon. I remember the man at the motel trying to talk her into waiting until evening, so we wouldn't be driving in the heat of the day. But Mom said we were already going to be late and insisted.

"I remember driving along, her talking all about her cousin and the ranch we were going to be living on until Dad got back. She knew all the horses names and couldn't wait to teach me how to ride. We were just driving, you know, laughing and singing...and then there was a loud noise and everything went dark."

John paused for a moment, wiping his eyes with his sleeve, but then continued on. "The next thing I remember is opening my eyes and looking up at the sky. The sun was really bright and I tried to block it, but my arms wouldn't move. I called out for my mom, I think, but she didn't come. Then there was a big shadow over me and this huge clown standing over me. He had this massive red wig and a white face with one of those ridiculous fake smiles painted on his face. And a flower--a gigantic daisy was sticking up out of the wig. I asked for my mom, but he said she couldn't come and told me to lay still.

"But I didn't want to lay still--I wanted my mom. Then I realized that I smelled smoke and I got really scared. I tried to get up, but he held me down and said I had to stay still. I didn't like him not letting me go to my mom so I struggled to get up, calling her name over and over and over. But she never came, only the clown was there telling me I had to calm down and stay still. So I started to scream and fight him harder, but he was way too big and way too strong. Then everything kinda went black again." He wiped at his eyes again, unable to continue.

Rodney's voice was quiet as he guessed at the rest of the story. "There was an accident. Was she..."

John nodded. "Yeah. Next thing I remember was waking up in the hospital and my dad was there. I don't remember much after that for a pretty long time."

"Wow. I...well this certainly explains your clown issues. I'm..sorry. I didn't realize...I mean, I never would have insisted if I had known..."

"Well now you do. So can we just drop it?"

McKay nodded. "Sure, just, I'm sorry, okay? About your mom, about making you tell me--about...about everything." He was silent a moment before he made one final peace-offering. "Can I, um, get you anything?"

Sheppard tilted his head back, watching lazy clouds wander past the city's spires. "No."

"I should probably...if you want me to leave, I-I'll understand. If you want to be alone, I mean."

John thought it over a moment, continuing to watch the darkened sky. "Nah, you can stay."

"Good, that's good. I'm...I'd be glad to stay awhile. If you're sure you don't mind, that is." Rodney tilted his head back to join in the cloud watching.

Next to him, Sheppard felt a sense of peace settle over them both. The two of them sat in silence, watching as the stars began to appear in the dark sky. Neither man moved for a long time before he felt the need to break the silence. "McKay?"

"Yeah?"

"You owe me dessert for the next month."

"What? Oh come on, you have got to be kidding me! No way, not an entire month. A week. That's more than equitable."

Sheppard shook his head, not backing down an inch. "One. Month."

"That is so not fair!"

Though he kept a straight face, inwardly John was grinning. He very deliberately raised a hand to wipe at his now perfectly dry eyes. As he planned, McKay quickly caved.

"Fine, you win. You get my dessert for the next month. There happy now?"

"Getting there," agreed John with his trademark crooked grin. "I hear there are going to be fresh brownies tomorrow."

Next to him, McKay groaned loudly. "Sheppard?"

"Yeah?"

"Next time I get the bright idea to do something like that again?"

"Yeah?"

"Just have the Caveman shoot me, will ya?"

_The End_


End file.
